Wednesday, December 28, 2005

130 million won't buy a brain.

The title here was to refer to a post I was going to make about the budget of the excrescence called War of the Worlds (articles no longer are allowed, so the "the" got shit canned along with most of my brain). However, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that Spielberg's budget on that flick was miniscule compared what it would cost actual aliens to mount an invasion and occupation on the scale shown in the Steve's ritalin addled story. Think about it. It costs us billions and billions to just scrape up into the upper reaches of low earth orbit in a vehicle that looks like a balloon plane. Trillions it would likely cost those aliens to make all those three legged war ships and get them here. Yet apparently with all their money, and all their scientific advancements, the science of biology is totally foreign to them. They didn't realize they needed to test the water before they drank it. Imagine Neil Armstrong opening the door of the Eagle while wearing a windbreaker and Bermuda shorts and you will get what I mean.

But wait, you say, War or the Worlds isn't about all that stupid science stuff. That's for eggheads, fanboys and geeks. This is a movie for intellectuals. It's using the genre to make a statement about . . .

About what exactly?

Oh, about how you can make up for being a deadbeat dad who abandons his parental responsibility in the most callous way and become a good parent by knowing a lot about cars and being able to kill with your bare hands for no reason. And it's about realizing you have to let your kids go eventually, even if it means they can then go out into the world and get destroyed by it (but if you do let them go, then they won't get destroyed---the world will be all soft and cuddly and let them skate on anything bad happening if only you realize you must let them go).

And there is more. Hey, it's also about how people are essentially hateful, evil scum who will revert to savages during crisis, despite, of course, all the evidence to the contrary throughout the history of the world. And it's about how you can make a political statement by putting your words into the mouth of a character who represents all the evil you are making your statement against.

Oh, and money. I think it might also be a little bit about money. You know, about how you can make a shitload of it by raping the current emotional zeitgeist, all while pretending you are actually providing a cathartic balm.

Christ, and I thought C.H.U.D. was bad.

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