"My God, am I glad there are still memories left to rape!"
It's been a hell of a couple of weeks. Since I am loathe to put up two sentences and a link in lieu of a blog entry, I've just gone with mostly nothing for a while. However, I still don't have the time to do anything proper (and lucky for BP that is so, as I'd be tearing them a new asshole if I had the time), so instead I'm going to put up a couple of sentences and a link.
If you hate Star Wars (or if you more rightly love Star Wars but hate the prequels), and if you have yet to stumble upon the Red Letter Media reviews of the Star Wars prequels, then this will be a treat for you. And if you have already stumbled upon them and watched them before, watch again. They only get funnier with age and repetition. The home page linked above also has a number of hilarious Star Trek: TNG reviews as well, and I'll embed Part One of the Phantom Menace review here.
Why watch a review for a crappy movie that came out nearly fifteen years ago? Well, because this particular video review is just that funny. It is so damn funny, in fact, that it almost makes the original suffering I endured while watching the Phantom Menace worth it. And it is so damn funny that it definitely makes bearable the fact that we live in a world where George Lucas sodomizes his own creations (were they really his creations???) in order to line his pockets Gordon Gekko-style.
On top of that, the anonymous author of this review obviously put more time and effort into it than what George Lucas could be bothered to put into the writing of any of those lousy prequels, so I think attention must be paid (especially when I don't have the time or inclination to do a proper blog entry). Our phantom mess of a reviewer properly eviscerates the movie and Lucas, but he always does so in a manner that is completely high-larious and appropriately profane. With each succeeding part (there are seven in all), the review just gets funnier and funnier. If you hang in for the full 70 minutes, you will find it very much worth your while.
Especially if you once wasted over 120 minutes watching the crap-fest extravaganza called Phantom Menace.